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The Struggles of Modern Dating

Dating means different things to people across different generations. I asked two people from different age groups to define “dating.” My fourty-nine year old mom says that dating is “getting to know someone,” while my seventeen year old sister says that dating is “when there’s something going on between two people but they’re not official yet because they want to see how things will go and they want to be sure.” Here, we can already see how greatly modern dating differs from the traditional one.

Being part of the millennial group, I hate seeing how much of a struggle and hassle it is to go through modern dating. I live in a world of random hook-ups and casual relationships. Unlike before, people do not think long term anymore. It’s no longer about love, marriage, family, self-respect and self-love. It’s usually about being “happy” at the spur of the moment, and just see where these hook-ups and casual relationships go. But, what we tend to forget is that  we’re losing the true essence of dating, which is really to get to know someone you’re romantically interested in. And most importantly, we’re slowly losing the respect and love that we deserve from other people and ourselves.

And even worse, where did honesty go? I can barely understand why we have to mask our feelings. When we are hurt or mad, we are most likely to give the abusive method of silent treatment. When we actually like someone, we force ourselves to act like we do not. When we’re really excited to talk to that specific person, we have to consider timing our replies to make sure that we don’t seem too easy or desperate. And lastly, when we are actually romantically interested in someone, we ask them to hang out, and not talk to them for a few days, and that’s where it gets so confusing because you have no idea where you’re actually standing or where you’re supposed to stand.

When did dating get so complicated? Why can’t we just be honest and tell someone that we’re hurt? Why can’t people use the ever so innovative communication line that we, the millennial group, are so blessed with? If it were the age of no telephone, e-mail, or Facebook, then yes, it is very much understandable why people make it almost impossible to “date.” However, that really isn’t the case now. We have enough communication line to make dating easy, honest and hassle free. If we like someone, then we should be able to tell them how we truly feel. Whenever we feel excited to talk to someone, then there shouldn’t be a need to time our replies. And if we are really romantically interested in someone, then hell, we should be brave enough to properly ask that person out. I mean, saying it out loud and typing it down make it sound even more ridiculous. It’s crazy how modern dating has gotten so complicated and confusing.

What I think? People should start becoming more honest to themselves and to others. Stop playing games, just do and say what you truly feel like doing and saying, without losing that self respect and love. Let’s stop making life so complicated when it could be much easier and simpler.

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